Random Bits 6
by Nashiil
Summary: CHAPTER 3 is up!Its time for the annual Junior League Tournament and Tidus & Company have tickets! They may not be competing, but being a spectator can be exciting too.
1. Chapter 1

I hope this one shows up okay (glares at computer). I'm having a lot of trouble with the computers at work now. I managed to get my Inspiration Chocobo up and limping along again, but I'm not too sure about this one. If it doesn't turn out right, I blame it on a lack of sleep and caffine. (No the 'add ruler' option won't work on this computer either.)

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Random Bits 6- Chapter 1

Setting: Yuna and her friends are visiting Luca to watch the Junior Leagues Blitzball tournament.

**Luca **- Clothing shop- Lulu has to buy a new dress due to a fiend attack during their journey.

Lulu eyed the dress critically. It had a nice fur trim and enough leather to make a rock musician jealous. She liked it.

"Oh, that's cute!" Rikku gasped in excitement.

"I don't think this one will fit." the older girl sighed, eyeing the dress wistfully.

"Here." Wakka said, whisking the garment out of her hands to hold at arm's length for inspection.

Wakka's eyes did a complicated bouncing maneuver between Lulu and the dress; a trace of doubt lingering as it passed over his features. Without warning the islander slung the dress over his shoulder and did what Tidus had been dying to do since the day they'd met. He sized her boobs.

Wakka's companions froze, Time having to go have a lie down. A suffocating silence descended on the shop like a downed Ochu, but had little effect since everyone was holding his or her breaths anyway. Kimahri fainting on a shoe display shattered the silence and startled everyone's cerebral functions back to life. Tidus started choking on his own spit, eyes bulging dangerously from their sockets in disbelief. He would have given _anything_ to be in Wakka's position right now.

"Oh yeah, It'll fit." Wakka declared cheerfully, oblivious to the mental apocalypse he had caused.

Lulu was livid, but it was impossible to tell if it was from rage or embarrassment.

"Ow! Wha'd I do!" the red-haired man yelped as the Black Mage dealt him a good ding on the ear. The tight-lipped, hot-eyed glare she pinned him with could have melted a hole through 18 inches of solid steel. It was totally deflected by the man's thick skull, lack of imagination, and shield of terminal ignorance.

Without a word Lulu paid for her dress and swept out of the shop, heading for the Inn. She left in her wake a dazed silence often associated with fast hitting natural disasters. Wakka sidled along side hurricane Lulu, gabbling and wringing his hands, begging forgiveness and trying to find out what he had done wrong. He returned as ignorant as he had left and with a red handprint on his face.

"That was cool!" exclaimed Tidus, shaking his red-haired companion by the shoulders, eyes glowing with awe.

"You touched Lulu's knockers...Let me touch your hands!"

Auron grabbed the exuberant youth by the hood of his shirt and swung him towards the door, leaving Wakka to figure out what he had done wrong. The Unsent monk helped Yuna and Rikku get a dazed Kimahri out into the fresh air.

After lunch, Yuna and her companions stopped at one of the souvenir shops for colored towels, pennants, and the classic giant foam fingers. Tidus left the shop with a T-shirt bearing a picture of two blitzballs with the word 'Knockers!' above it; under which was printed '(Boobies!)'. The same message was printed on the back of the shirt in Al Bhed.

Drawing strange looks, disdainful expressions, and the occasional cheer, Tidus strutted towards the throng of fans waiting to enter the stadium. Kimahri's Official Auroch's beverage cap also drew some strange looks, but no one was about to laugh at a giant predatory, cat-like humanoid with massive claws and four-inch fangs. Besides, the last person to comment on the silly cap was still lying on the ground, twitching occasionally.

Auron was unable to comprehend how Yuna could walk beside Tidus and still hold her head up high. She could at least have the decency to feel embarrassed for the boy. Summoners. Go figure.

The Legendary Guardian and his Ronso companion strolled along _behind_ their younger companions. The noise level rose steadily as Rikku and Tidus talked about a mutual interest. This involved ethnic jokes and laughing about personal quirks (like how Lulu crossed her arms over her chest when Tidus walked by).

Boredom set in ten minutes after they joined the slowly funneling mob. Luckily Wakka and Rikku had their boom-sticks and giant foam fingers to amuse themselves with. Be fret of Lulu, the islander had taken to teasing Rikku. Strangely it didn't seem to bother the Al Bhed girl. Being a little sister her self, Rikku was used to being picked on, and seemed oddly content to have Wakka pestering her.

Tidus had his own plan for curing boredom and was well on his way to a good handful of Yuna's personal anatomy. While Yuna was distracted by the pre-game announcements, Kimahri was not. With hands the size of a man's head; the Ronso was the Spirian equivalent of a Wookie. One of those hands descended with all the force of Gravity behind it to slap Tidus' hand nearly off its wrist.

Hearing the boy's surprised yelp, Yuna spun around to see what all the noise was about. Tidus was sucking his knuckles and whimpering as he did a jig pain, Wakka laughing and slapping him on the back. As soon as he sensed the Summoner's gaze, Tidus thrust and accusing finger at the Ronso. Kimahri blinked as if unaware of what was happening, contriving to look as non-threatening and innocent as possible.

Kimahri failed. Not because he was guilty to begin with, but because there is no way in the Farplane that any seven foot humanoid with fangs, claws, and arms that look like sacks full of blitzballs could be anything but a source of pain. It was hard to be stereotyped as anything else when you had a perpetual dour scowl and could pound your enemies into the ground like nails with your fists. Stereotypes are hard to break out of, but he was trying. (Kimahri currently owned a sphere page online that listed his hobbies as: Guarding, hunting, stalking Summoners, ironing Yuna's clothes, and chasing butterflies.)

"Kimahri?" asked Yuna gently, demanding and explanation.

"Big spider. Kimahri smash." the Ronso replied the picture of seriousness, Wakka's braying laughter already drawing curious or disapproving looks.

"Control yourselves." Auron hissed. Up until now he had been dealing with their antics in his usual manner, i.e. ignoring them. After some strategic cutting, he managed to separate the sexes. The girls were shuffled to the front, while the boys were lined up behind Kimahri.

"You act like you've never been around women before." he quietly admonished, even though he knew he was wasting his breath. Auron had a better chance of teaching social etiquette to lichen than training the little Sin spawn in basic good behavior.

"Well, maybe if the girls would share once in a while." the youth replied with a puerile pout. Auron fixed Tidus with a one-eyed glare of disbelief.

"Do you have even the tiniest inkling of what you are going to say before you open your mouth?" (He was beginning to suspect that the boy had anarchic verbalitis.)

"Oh!" Wakka gasped as sudden inspiration hit with the force of sour milk on an empty stomach.

"What if you had a set of your own?"

The veteran Guardian calmly snatched Wakka's boom-stick and whacked him over the head with it.

"Man, that would be _awesome_!" Tidus exclaimed, earning a smack of his own.

"Think about it! It'd mean hours of entertainment."

Auron motioned the two of them closer. He looked at their curious expressions as they leaned in, and didn't feel one ounce of remorse as he knocked their heads together and proceeded to beat the Sin out of them.

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Um...don't insult the Ronso's cap.


	2. Chapter 2

For those of you who haven't read my profile yet, please e-mail me any typos you find in my fics. No, there is no prize for finding any, but it will make me very happy to keep errors down. (And a happy writer means better fics!) This chapter may be a little off, but stick with it. And yes, the whole thing about the fish is true.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Random Bits 6 - Chapter 2

**Luca** - Yuna and her companions have finally made it into the stadium, and are on their way to their seats.

Kimahri brushed irritably at the yellow paint staining his fur. They had just squeezed past a line of half naked, painted, and very zealous Auroch's fans. Following the unwritten laws of sporting events, some of them were obese and halfway down the road of Inebriation. Kimahri scowled as they jumped up and down (hooting and wobbling like flans), snacks and beverages raining down on the people around them. He hissed at them all.

The game began shortly after Yuna and her Guardians reached the Summoners Box, and Auron stopped Tidus from teasing the female population. Tidus stepped up to the parapet and waved to all the ladies, then disappeared, drawing a wave of disappointed moans, only to reappear a few seconds later to wild cheering. Yuna appeared at the parapet (the echo of a boom-stick connecting with the back of Tidus' head following her,) and blessed the game and promising new players. Wakka, chest so swollen with pride that he resembled a helium filled pigeon, was given the honor of signaling the start of the game. (Being the former captain of the Aurochs had its privileges.)

Wakka waved as the crowd cheered, and experienced a sudden confusion as the cheers died to disappointed sighs. He stood rigidly with the constipated grin common to those trying to buy time while they figure out what the heck is going on. Tidus' giggle alerted him to the cause. The boy was popping up and down from behind the parapet again, resembling a giant species of blond tunneling rodent. He was showing no signs of getting bored, and since no mallets were available, Kimahri used the next best thing (a boom-stick since Yuna was present).

With a predatory grin Kimahri popped him about the head a few times, then seizing both shoulder straps, lifted Tidus upwards with a quick jerk. Even Yuna giggled as the boy's eyes crossed and he made a noise best described as 'ghnhk'. Kimahri turned from the balcony, Tidus held out in front of him, and took his time walking to the bench. Tidus swung erratically from his own pants, desperately struggling against bisection.

Once the game got underway, and Kimahri moved Wakka out of his seat, (bringing the victim count for the Ronso Wedgie to two), there was a discreet game of musical seats. Ronsos did not make good bench buddies when their team started loosing. No one wants to sit next to you when you can pop someone's head open like a grape if you get angry.

Rikku was unlucky enough to be shuffled next to the Ronso after Auron 'faded' through the seat of the bench to escape. She squeaked in horror, eyes testing the elasticity of their eyelids as Kimahri snarled and clenched his bag of popped grains so tightly that it reduced the fluffy grains to powder. She turned beseeching eyes on her companions as Kimahri flung the bag to the floor and ground it into the stone with a foot. Rikku was rewarded with pale faces and quick head shaking.

Kimarhi followed the action with the intensity of a cat, the tip of his tail flopping madly. The proverbial crap hit the fan when the referee unjustly (according to the Auroch's fans) called a foul. The feline Guardian bolted to his feet with a growl, scattering concession wrappers and triggering the 'Hover Phenomenon'.

This particular phenomenon is a fascinating survival reaction caused by the sudden release of kinetic energy. Triggered by danger, the body releases a surge of adrenaline directly to fast twitch muscles, which allows the individual to scoot away from danger and get a head start. To the observer (usually the surprised threat) the individual goes from relaxation to sudden alertness within a few milliseconds, and can appear to 'hover' out of harm's way without the use of their limbs.

The 'Hover Phenomenon' is not to be confused with the 'Fright' or 'Surprise Reaction', where upon being scared or surprised, an individual experiences temporary paralysis of all extremities except the ankles. Those experiencing this reaction are afflicted with rigor and stagger around with the knees and elbows locked. There is also a 'loose' form of this reaction in which individuals loose all motor control and flop around helplessly on the floor.

Kimahri's companions appeared to hover along the length of the bench and pile up at the end without wasting time by standing up.

"Shot good!" Kimahri roared, drowning out the protest of the other Auroch's fans. The referee did not withdraw the call. Kimahri bared his fangs and hissed.

Reaching over the Ronso dragged Wakka out from under the seat and holding him up by the ankle, yanked his blitzball out of its damp nest in his armpit. Pulling back his arm he hurled it at the ref. Yuna dropped her head into her hands in mortified dismay. Had she watched, she would have seen the ball pass into the field without slowing down and slam into the man's head with a 'thwak'.

The unconscious man was towed off the field and replaced. His trembling successor took one look at Kimahri's cold countenance and wisely signaled the shot good, earning two points for the Aurochs. Kimahri took his seat, very pleased with himself until he encountered Yuna's displeased frown. He suddenly found that inspecting his fur for fleas and ticks was a very pressing issue.

The half time show went along swimmingly, considering that the Moonflow Hypello Aquabatics Team performed it. No one paid it much attention until the cheerleaders made an appearance, and most fans used the time to rush the bathrooms. Rikku stood impatiently in the ridiculously long line for the women's bathroom. For some reason the line was always longer for the 'little girls' room'.

"I'm gonna wet my pants!" the Al Bhed girl moaned as the line moved a few inches.

"Look at those guys," she complained to Yuna.

"There's hardly a line at all! And when there is one, it moves like cabbage through and old person!

Rikku pouted as a mob of guys filed in and out of the bathroom in a matter of minutes.

"Its _sooo_ not fair!" Yuna patted her friend comfortingly on the shoulder. After what felt like an eternity to their bladders, the wait was over.

Tidus came around the corner as the last of the men left the bathrooms. He paused, slowing into the typical stagger of someone realizing that they had possibly just used the wrong room as a bathroom. The happy tune he had been whistling petered out with an off key screech. He glanced at the men's bathroom, then back towards the docks.

Tidus shrugged nonchalantly and grinned at Yuna and Rikku as they joined Auron for the trip back to their seats.

"You took a leak in the ocean, didn't you? You just whizzed off one of the docks." Auron accused.

"Yeah." Tidus replied, expertly hiding his embarrassment behind obnoxious cheer.

"I did have five drinks after all."

Rikku giggled and dragged Yuna ahead of the guys towards their seats. Tidus shrugged. Piddling out the window (or off a dock) was normal, as far as he was concerned. It was much more sanitary than collecting it in pits and there was less risk of some poor person stepping into it. Besides, fish _lived_ in their own urine and feces. They excreted it into their environment daily and swam around inhaling the urine of other fish, and _they_ were perfectly healthy.

The second half of the game began after the last Hypello was floated out of the field (one of several victims of an unfortunate mishap with some of the cheerleaders). The ball passed from player to player, traveling steadily towards the goal. A sense of urgency spurring both teams to try a few of their own Hail Yevons. The desperation plays kept the fans on the edges of their seats and the Ronsos happy, which was productive to a long life without cerebral trauma.

The opposing team was executing a surprise play that would certainly have spelled defeat for the Aurochs, when a pale blur streaked through the playing field. The disturbance stunned the opposing team long enough for the Aurochs to foil the play. The streaker then led the security guards on a merry chase through the players.

A sudden stillness froze everyone in the Summoners Box as dread filled Yuna and her Guardians. As one, they looked down the row to Tidus' seat. It stood as empty as a chocolate store hit by diabetics during a 90 percent off sale. Everyone groaned then the X's glared accusingly at the three remaining Y's.

"We didn't dare him. Honest!" Wakka babbled.

"We had nothing to do with it!"

"I'll kill him!" Auron was muttering under Wakka's desperate gabbling.

"It's just not worth it. I'm sending him straight to Jecht!"

There was a sudden rush to grab Auron as the veteran Guardian drew his sword and tried to climb the edge of the parapet. The two women, a former blitzball captain, and a Ronso hanging off him hindered his progress.

"Auron not go." Kimahri rumbled reasonably.

"Not swimmer. Can't hold breath."

"I don't need to breathe!"

The struggle continued as Yuna attempted to calm the enraged Unsent Guardian down and save her beloved Tidus.

"What's up?" came a familiar voice from behind them. The entire party froze, then turned to stare at Tidus. He blinked back at them curiously, sipping from a drink he was managing to juggle along with three hotdogs and a bag of popped grains.

Feeling rather silly, Tidus' embarrassed companions returned to their seats, exchanging sheepish glances. Auron frowned into the depths of his collar suspiciously. Reaching a decision, he nudged Kimahri and motioned towards Tidus. The Ronso casually reached behind Rikku and smacked the back of the young blitzball player's head.

Tidus leaned forward and glared at Kimahri, who directed the malice towards Auron.

"What was that for?"

"Just in case."

Auron grunted. Something was just wrong with the whole situation. The streaker had to have been Tidus. Sure the large screens set up to allow everyone in the stadium a better view of the action had followed the comical chase. The problem was that the person had moved so quickly that no one had been able to get a good look at the streaker. He sighed and tried to ignore Intuition as it hammered at the back of his mind. Besides, the boy had clearly been at the concession booth.

Only after Auron turned his attention back to the game, did Tidus heave a mental sigh of relief. He looked at Rikku, who was sitting next to him, and held out a hotdog. The Al Bhed girl gave him a curt nod and grudgingly accepted it, a small napkin passing into Tidus' hand in return. (The exchange exhibited an expertise seen only in disreputable neighborhoods where illegal substances change hands in broad daylight.) Tidus grinned cheerily at Rikku and pocketed the napkin. 20 gil was 20 gil and after the Temple Streaking this was nothing.

Kimahri tentatively sniffed his hotdog, hoping that it wasn't actually made out of a dog. He still didn't understand the human custom of giving food strange names. Hamburgers weren't even made out of ham, for Yevon's sake! He was cautiously biting into it when a giant foam finger swatted him on the head. The Ronso growled and looked down to see Tidus grinning up at him. Kimahri's ears fattened in irritation.

Taking one of the empty cups from his cap, Kimahri crushed it against his broken horn. He looked back down at the perpetually clueless blond who seemed unfazed.

"Hey, pass it on." Tidus whispered fiercely, waggling his eyebrows meaningfully at Auron. Kimahri chose to ignore him, which proved to be a mistake. The young Guardian relentlessly prodded his hairy friend. It only took a few minutes for Tidus to hop on the ride to Kimahri's Last Nerve. Exasperated, Kimhari smacked his older companion on the back of the head, pitching him out of his seat.

"Pass on."

After working out the kinks (i.e., stopping Kimahri from beating senseless anyone who slapped Yuna), Kimahri found the primitive game rather amusing. The slap was good-naturedly passed up and down the line, but ended quickly when Kimahri slapped Auron and his head exploded in a cloud of pyre-flies. The Ronso yowled in surprise, and scrambled up one of the decorative pennants hanging behind their seats, fur standing on end.

Auron reassembled himself and had a good laugh at the disconcerted horror on his friends' faces. Alacrity for the game quickly diminished and the warrior found that no one was willing to sit beside him.

"Come on fraidy cat." he teased while Kimahri clung stubbornly to the banner, ignoring Yuna's best efforts to coax him down.

"Fine. Stay up there. Tidus, you can have his beverage cap."

"Right on!"

Tidus eagerly snatched up the forgotten cap and rammed it on his head. Kimahri growled menacingly as the teen started drinking from the plastic tubes. He could see the slobber sliding along them. The Ronso leaped from the banner getting a face full of highly pressurized beverage as it left the blond's mouth and he turned to flee.

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Support the Aurochs and leave a review! (Just steer clear of the painted sports junkies.)


	3. Chapter 3

Random Bits 6 – Chapter 3

**Luca** – Stadium- Having forgiven Wakka, Lulu had decided to join her friends for the last quarter of the game. She has run into a small obstacle on her way to the Summoners Box.

Lulu eyed the line of crazed Aurochs junkies with great trepidation. There were a dozen or so of them, all jumping around and flailing excitedly, while they hooted and shouted. They were covered in greasy yellow paint, (and for a reason her brain refused to ponder, scattered Ronso hairs) and spilling food and drinks on themselves and those in a twenty foot radius. The paint and drinks, along with several pounds of nacho cheese, helped adhere all the crushed chips, pretzels, nuts, candy and popped grains that would otherwise be littering the ground. They reminded the Black Mage of larger, mobile versions of the bird feeders made by second graders. In compliance with sporting event rules, most of them were obese, half-naked, and in danger of spitting up a lung.

Lulu desperately scanned the stadium in hopes of finding an alternate route to the Box. Of course there were none, Yevon having a good chuckle, unless she wanted to climb the banners. She looked back at the forest of Wobblysweatyflesh and decided that if she wanted to make it to grandma's house she would have to kill the wolf herself. The ruby-eyed girl squared her shoulders and marched resolutely forward only to have a wild-eyed junkie scream at her with the lung power of a rock singer. The Black Mage's eye twitched.

At every source of outdoor entertainment there is a snack vendor who must meet two essential criteria. 1. The person must have the voice projection to shout 'Popped grains!', and so on, and 2. have the physical appearance of a butcher. In Spira this person was Marp.

Marp the snack vendor turned from his latest customer in time to see a group of bellowing blitzball fanatics freeze and fall silent. Since most of them were dragging around a few extra pounds, it was a few moments more before several midsections realized it. The sudden halt in motion produced a strangely hypnotic wave that traveled along the line of bellies, and sent Marp stumbling off slightly confused with an inexplicable urge to slap a Flan.

"Gentlemen." Lulu nodded politely as the terrified fans scrambled over each other to get out of her way.

After greeting her companions, Lulu accepted Wakka's peace offering with expertly concealed contempt. (It was a skill acquired through years of dealing with idiots.) Yep. It was a humorous T-shirt similar to Tidus'. It had an image of two blitzballs, below which was printed 'Got Balls?' The red-eyed girl looked at Wakka, who had a dumpy hopeful smile crouching nervously on his face. Little beads of sweat formed on his forehead as she inspected the shirt. Cursing her soft-hearted nature, the Black Mage pulled on the horrid garment.

While posing with a grinning Tidus and Wakka (Tidus had to display his shirt too!) for a quick snapshot, Lulu vowed never to wear the shirt again. In fact it was going right into the trunk with all the other inappropriate items Wakka had presented her with over the years. Although a big-hearted soul, Wakka wasn't the brightest shell on the beach when it came to gifts. He didn't seem to understand that while humorous, frog figurines that piddled on you when you picked them up and stuffed dogs that produced a variety of lower intestinal tract smells when squeezed were not something to proudly display on the coffee table. Basically, if he got a giggle out of it, it was _perfect._ To avoid hurt feelings the trunk had been cunningly labeled 'Keepsakes'.

Happy to be back among her friends Lulu was in unusually high spirits. Tidus only received a mild frown and an almost playful jab from one of Lulu's hair pins for answering the question posed by her shirt. The Mage was feeling so good in fact that she could almost ignore the lecherous comment pertaining to her shirt. A prospective victim sauntered towards the Summoners Box, a spring of confidence in his step.

Unaware of Lulu's near legendary arsenal of snide, sarcastic, sharp, and down right nasty remarks, the young man suddenly found himself the center of the entire Box's attention. Even Kimahri had momentarily forgotten the game and was leaning forward in his seat, ears pricked. Suddenly nervous the man plunged doggedly ahead.

"Hey, baby. What's your favorite type of arctic waddler?"

Lulu's companions leaned forward with an eagerness that promised painful social events in the near future. The young man realized that he had lost control of the situation somewhere between leaving his seat and opening his mouth. He now found himself careening wildly down the hill of Social Situations in a rotten cart that had just lost two of its four wheels. Below he could see sharp rocks and several species of particularly throny cacti.

The female Guardian's reply would become an instant classic and used in bars and gathering places all over Spira by women who wanted to ward off unwanted suitors. She turned a penetrating stare on the young man and brisquely replied,

"Jackass."

Yuna's appalled gasp drew her attention long enough for her crestfallen victim to scrape the shattered remains of his Ego into his pocket, gather what was left of his Pride, and beat a hasty retreat.

"That was a little harsh Lulu." Yuna admonished, her other friends snorting and sputtering beside her.

"What? Its really the name of a type of arctic waddler."

Lulu curled a lip in disgust as a few slobbery pieces of half chewed hotdog landed amongst the growing colony of food spray in Kimahri's fur. The game was coming down to the wire and both teams were pulling out all the stops. Hail Yevons pulled off by both sides kept the fans on the edges of their seats and the Ronsos happy, which was productive to a long life without cerebral trauma. At the moment Kimahri was completely engrossed in the game, unconcerned with the particles of food and droplets of drinks and sweat landing in his coat.

The Aurochs fanatics had worked themselves into a frenzy and were flinging snacks and beverages, along with spit and sweat into the air with volcanic force. The Black Mage brushed disdainfully at a few droplets of a suspicious liquid that missed the new country of Kimahri, and landed on her sleeve. She scowled at the group of men as an entire bucket of popped grains landed in Kimahri's lap, the kernels spilling over the brim and onto her dress. Her Ronso companion didn't seem to mind though, because he tossed his empty bag on the ground and started on the new bucket. He growled menacingly as one of the junkies tried to reclaim the container.

As if summoned by Lulu's irritation a migrating flock of Divebeaks, drawn by the ever hungry seagulls, descended on the stadium like hungry college students. There was five whole minutes of stillness as fiend and fan peacefully co-existed, the humans distractedly sharing their snacks with the avian fiends. Shortly after someone's hotdog was pecked from their hands, the hand nearly coming with it, screams erupted.

Distracted by the cries of mass panic from the stands, both blitzball teams fled the field, leaving the critical shot unmade. The captains were left behind, angrily waving their arms in an attempt to bring their teams back. The players ignored the gestures (which quickly turned obscene). If the captains thought their teams were going to play with a bunch of man-eating fiends flying around, then they could go hang.

Kimahri stared at the field in disbelief, his jaw dropping to send a cascade of unswallowed drink into his bucket of popped grains. The rest of it was expelled from his nostrils in an explosive snort when he caught sight of the fiends. With a roar he launched himself at the nearest fiend, clawing madly at it, looking for all of Spira like a giant house cat batting at a dangling feather.

"He could have at least taken off the cap." Auron grumbled.

With so many Summoners attending the game and most of the fans already heading for the exits, the Guardians were free to deal with the fiends. Besides, the creatures didn't seem interested in the humans at all, only their food. The only ones that needed rescuing were the fanatics, who looked like mobile smorgasbords to the Divebeaks. A small perverse smile tugged the corners of Lulu's lips as two of the junkies ran by in a flurry of panicked shouts, thrashing around as the avian fiends clustered hungrily around them.

Auron, knowing that he was not the best at handling 'fliers' remained in the Box with Yuna and Lulu. Wakka was towards the top of the stadium, laying waste to the flock with his smelly blitzball (since it spent most of its time in his armpit it has developed a particularly sickening odor which was almost as potent as his Venom shot.), Rikku and Tidus were dealing with the fiends that were scavenging in the stands, and Kimahri had raised a small army of Ronso, who were decimating the Divebeaks.

A female Ronso earned the admiration of several males when she grabbed a fiend in each paw and spun them around by the heads with a skill rivaling a farm wife. The males watched in mesmerized as she spun them around like a pair of nunchucks until the bodies separated from the heads and spun off into the stands. There was just something attractive about a female covered in blood from head to toe choking chickens. It must have been all in the wrists.

Furious about having the game interrupted Kimahri took out his frustration on every fiend to cross his path. Spotting his next victim, the Ronso shoved aside another Summoner's Ixion, sending the Aeon bouncing away. Rising to its feet Ixion circled the Ronso in confusion, like a sci-fi geek bumped to the edges of a Star Wars merchandise giveaway. Ixion looked to its Summoner for orders, but received a bewildered shrug in reply. With a discomfited flick of its tail the Aeon slowly moved off to find a new opponent.

Now panicking, the Divebeaks began attacking the Summoners and their Guardians. It worked out well for the Ronsos who charged back and forth across the field, leaving bloody chunks in their wake. Kimahri, wearing his Official Aurochs beverage cap like a commander's uniform lead the pack. Rikku cheered them on as they swept past, distractedly punching a fiend. Unfortunately, the Al Bhed girl forgot that her weapon was equipped with Stone Touch. She yelped as the petrified body crashed down on her toes.

Tidus spun around as Rikku's curse of,

"Darn it!" rent the air. He cringed back as the small teen screamed at the next fiend, cursing it and all its kind for her pain. The boy watched in astonishment as Rikku dragged the Divebeak from the air with her bare hands, straddled it and began banging its head against a handy stone bench while she choked the life out of it. Tidus decided that the best course of action was to inconspicuously creep away. It was the quiet ones you had to watch out for, you know.

Spells and Attacks flared, wooshed and splooshed throughout the stadium as Summoners and Guardians slowly gained the upper hand ( …er claw…hoof…wing? Okay, let's just say appendage. Okay, _appropriate_ appendages). Wakka moved among the fiends, performing a sort of horizontal dribble (The basketball move, not the drool technique) with his blitzball. Pausing for a breather during a welcome lull in the battle, the red haired captain glanced up as Tidus' random battle cry of,

"Eat my knobby ball, you scruffy buzzards!" echoed through the stadium as he leapt skyward to perform his Overdrive 'Blitz Ace'.

The 'coolness' factor of the moment (already in the low single digits) was significantly lowered as the fiends in Tidus' vicinity made a sound that was suspiciously close to a laugh, and was brought into the negatives when someone in the crowd shouted "_Lame_!"

Tidus didn't have time to wonder at how closely the voice matched Auron's however, because Wakka (seeing the fiend diving on Tidus in a stealthy rear attack) hurled his blitzball. It completely missed the fiend and struck the blond in the face. It bounced off, struck the fiend in front of him, and set off a pinball effect. The ball wove a complex ricochet pattern as it shot from Divebeak to Divebeak. The fiends exploded, the flash and sigh of pyre-flies doing duty as the light effects and pinball 'ping!' The ball returned to Wakka, who caught it, shoved it back into its nest in his armpit, and stood in a state of satisfied elation, not noticing that Tidus was Cursing him under his breath as he rose from the ground.

Wakka tried to nonchalantly saunter up to the Summoners Box to rejoin his friends. He paused to wave as the Summoners and Guardians cheered and clapped in a mixture of amazement and appreciation. A maneuver like that was only pulled off successfully about once in a life-time.

"That was incredible!" Lulu said, the praise escaping her lips before she could stifle it.

"Awww, Lu!" Wakka, groaned in embarrassed pleasure as the companions marched through the crowds with the other Summoners and Guardians in an impromptu parade. He was quiet for a moment as he bashfully waved to the crowds. A glimmer of mischief crept into his eye as he turned to Lulu and playfully said,

"So Lu, what's your favorite type of arctic waddler?"

End.

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Everybody look at Kimahri.(He's still wearing his cap) Now everybody laugh! (Then run like heck!). If you leave a review, you get to slap a Flan for free! Come on, I know you want to!


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